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What determines life and death is your will to live. This is what I know and what I live by.
I’ve lived all my life watching life pass me by. I have no ambition or goals. I never had any sort of dream to talk of except for one and it already came true the night Ciaran and I marked each other.
Now I have goals. Ambitions. I have new dreams that I want to see come true.
In short, I finally have a life.
I have something to live for, a future to look forward to. People who’re expecting me to survive. I finally have something important I need to protect and a person I want to live a long life with.
I will not die. Not here. Not now.
I eyed Meinor carefully, watching his every move, even taking note of his very breath. Psyching myself for a battle that would determine the future and change hundreds of lives.
Meinor charged at me first. He didn’t waste any time and phased to his huge ash grey wolf and lunged aiming for my head and throat.
I spread my legs wide, found my center and planted my feet firmly on the ground. I waited for him to come to me instead of charging forward to meet his advance. And before his claws could reach me I twisted my body to one side, to accommodate his speed, and my hand shot out to grab his neck.
Maybe it was the thrill of the fight or the extreme amount of adrenaline pumping through my veins. I don’t how I managed it but once I felt my fingers closed around his throat I pushed back to halt his movements and slammed him hard on the dirt covered ground. Satisfied when I heard the unmistakable sound of bones cracking from the impact.
Meinor let out a loud yelp and stilled for a moment before frantically clawing at me to let him go. I was on a bad angle so I released my hold. I immediately backed away a few steps before phasing.
We danced around each other, scratching and nipping but not really managing to deal the other with a fatal blow. But when we clashed for another row I slipped and missed a stepped, allowing Meinor to slash and break the skin just above my right eye. Blood instantly flowed out the wound creating a blind spot on my dominant side.
He took this as an opportunity to attack me. He bit down on my right shoulder, tearing through the flesh and muscle. He clamped down hard and I could hear my bone cracking from the impact.
The bite is a few centimeters off from being fatal but it would weaken me to a huge degree if I don’t pry him loose. I twisted, feeling his fangs sink deeper into my flesh, and dug my claws deeply on his side. The wound I dealt him was on a good spot, cutting through his stomach and would bleed quite a lot as long as he kept fighting.
We broke free from each other once again and this time his defenses are higher and his attacks are becoming more precise, perfectly calculated. If I didn’t have my speed and quick wit to help me, I’d be torn to shreds by now.
The next time we clashed we grappled for dominance, biting and clawing, never giving an inch to the other. Meinor is a well-trained warrior and unlike me he’s more comfortable fighting in his wolf form. And I know if we continue I’d probably lose this round.
Switch with me! Rothe ordered.
I paused considering the suggestion.
I didn’t want Rothe to carry this type of burden again, when he has to fight for my sake because I wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own.
But maybe that’s the fault in my logic…
There’s a reason why Rothe and I can co-exist in different planes within my body. Why our strengths don’t seem to match or meet at one certain point. It’s because deep inside I don’t fully trust my wolf. Because some part of me is still thinking that I have to do it alone. And during the time Rothe cut himself away from me I’ve learned a very valuable lesson.
Rothe is me and I am Rothe. We are one and the same. If I’m weak then so is he. My indecision and my mistrust are holding us back. My insecurities and fear are what’s keeping us from being who we truly are. If I can’t trust him wholeheartedly now then I haven’t moved forward at all. And I can’t have that. Not anymore…
I didn’t stand back but allowed Rothe to step forward beside me. We stood side by side and neither of us would act as a protector or shield for the other. We would attack together and defend together. This way we can utilize both our strengths, cover for each other and finally become one.
I was right. Once I rid myself of unnecessary worry, everything became clearer. As if I’d finally awakened…
We moved in unison. Simultaneous. Our movements were fluid and in perfect accord with one another. We tore through Meinor like knife to butter, swift and easy. He was panting for breath and bleeding profusely when we ceased our attacks.
Truthfully, I don’t want to kill him. Despite the devil that’s living in him, Meinor is still my half-brother. And I have enough blood in hands and death in my conscience to add his name to the pile.
But of course, Meinor had other ideas.
He swiped the ground with his paws throwing dirt and dust in my eyes.
I moved away and phased back to my human form, rapidly blinking my eyes, trying to clear my vision. He immediately took advantage of the situation by pinning me down under him. My vision was blurry and I could feel his harsh breath and snapping teeth not far from my face as I held him back. My eyes were burning but I managed to wedge my legs in between our bodies to kick him off of me.
“Pathetic!” He snarled swiping at my chest. Before I could grab for him he was already gone. Another blow landed on my back and I fell on my knees, trying hard not to lose focus or panic.
Meinor kept moving around, toying with me, taunting me as he goes. And instead of forcing myself to use my vision, I focused on my hearing. It took me a few tries before I could successfully predict his movements and next attack.
I phased and battled with him on my wolf form. I was fighting him half blind but all I have to do was focus on the sound of his harsh breathing and the scent of his blood. It was convenient for me that Meinor has the tendency to spout insults when he’s getting cornered.
“Why do you hate me so much?” I asked through our mind link out of curiosity. It was also a tactic to keep him talking so I won’t lose track of him.
I’ve never met my half-brother before today. I grew up away from court. And I’ve never even known my relationship to the crown until Kevan showed up at Moonscape. I can’t think of any reason why he would hate me aside from the fact that I have the right to challenge him for the throne. And I never thought of doing so until today. So why?
There has to be a reason, a perfectly sound explanation for his behavior. I refuse to think that my brother, my own flesh and blood, would demand my death for such a petty reason as a crown and a throne.
I have no doubt that he could hear and understand me through the mind link. Aside from being the alpha king, the man before me is also a part of my family. Regardless of what we both think or how we see each other the call of our blood is too strong to ignore.
“Answer me!” I demanded, shifting my body as I follow his movements.
He snarled and swiped his paws, moving closer to where I stood. I easily blocked the attack, pounding my own paws hard on the ground waiting for him to respond.
“You and your whore for a mother ruined my family!” He spat angrily.
“My mother have done nothing wrong.” I snarled at the slight towards the woman who gave me life.
I have no memory of my mother. I don’t even remember seeing her face but that woman gave her life for mine, and Kevan’s. I would not stand by when someone insults her memory.
“Mother and father were true mates. The spirits willed it and even our laws demand that they be together!”
“A commoner like you would never understand the complexity of the crime your harlot for a mother have committed against the crown!”
“Is that all you ever think about? The crown? The throne?” I asked digging my claws on the ground. “It’s nothing but a piece of metal and an elevated chair! What about the people? Family? Do those matter to you at all?”
Meinor stopped moving and laughed manically.
“You are so naïve! Spouting nonsense you do not understand just like your mother.” He said as he started circling me again. “And like her, I’d rid of the world of your presence too.”
“What do you mean?” I stiffened, aghast at what he just implied.
I could hear Kevan growling.
“I knew it!” He screamed angrily. “You fucking bastard, you and your family are dead. I’m going to kill you all!”
“How does it feel Kevan?” Meinor taunted. “Living under the same roof and eating at the same table with the people who killed the bitch you call mother?”
My eyesight was relatively back and I stood in the space between Kevan and Meinor. I know Kevan would want a piece of this trash in front of me but I’m afraid he’s going to have to wait in line. This is my fight. And if there’s something more of Meinor to tear once I’m through with him, then Kevan could have a go at him then.
I howled and charged forward.
This is it, the final blow. It’s either him or me…
When we were halfway from each other, I lunged in the air and shifted back to my human form. Dropping on the ground with my legs spread wide apart just in time to grab Meinor’s muzzle.
I wouldn’t kill him like a warrior wolf would. He deserves no sympathy for me. And there is no honor in what his family has done to mine. This battle had become personal the moment he admitted they assassinated my mother for the sake of the crown.
I will kill him. And I will do it with my bare hands.
I forced his jaws wide apart. Meinor’s eyes met mine and I see nothing but fear in his.
He knows he’s about to die.
He thrashed and pushed but something inside me had snapped into attention these minutes past. I am stronger now, perhaps even invincible. He tried to clamp down on my hands and break free but the more he panicked, the more useless his struggles become.
His jaws cracked as I spread it to its limit.
“This is for Ciaran, for my mother and for all the lives you’ve ruined…” I whispered as I ripped the upper part of his head away from the rest of him.
Meinor’s body dropped on the ground, lifeless and bloody, as I threw his skull beside it.
I looked at my hands and it was covered with blood. His blood. The blood of my half-brother, the blood of my enemy…
It’s ironic how kingdoms are won through the death of another, that there’s always bloodshed at the beginning of each reign.
I guess I’m no different from the rest of them.
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