Reject (Mxm) Chapter Seven: Ciaran

Ciaran’s ’69 Chevy Camaro —–>

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It’s been a week since I’ve thrown the gauntlet and in turn, Ruari enforced his defenses. I’m sad to say that I’m not making any progress. He’s determined to ignore me.

Since the kiss we shared in his room, he haven’t let his guard down long enough for me to get close to him. He always makes sure we’re never alone. To be brutally honest, I’m starting to hate the members of my own pack. He’s still uncomfortable living in the pack house but yesterday I saw him talking to the new members who weren’t here when he was young.

Lorcan laughed when I assigned everyone Ruari associated with to border patrol for the rest of the month to keep them away from him. I know I’m being a child but it pissed me off, seeing them laugh and joke with him when Ruari won’t even spare me a fucking glance.

If this situation continues I’m going to die from frustration or lose half of my pack, I’m sure of it. Or maybe I’d die from unspent lust. Since Ruari returned I’ve been on a state of constant arousal and Keiron is not helping whining and growling all the time urging me to mark him.

I noticed Ruari’s trying to avoid interaction with the old members. I know he’s wary but before I brought him back I made sure everyone understood who Ruari is and what his presence on the pack means. Some traditionalist members don’t fully accept my decision but as I said five years ago, Ruari is my mate and I will not have anyone but him. If anyone is dissatisfied with my choice they are free to leave. I don’t need pack members who would disrespect my mate just because he turned out to be male or whatever bias they could think of.   

“Goddamn it!” I straightened and gave up pretending that I’m fixing the damn car.

Restoring cars is one of my hobbies. At the moment I’m working on a 1967 Chevy Impala. I bought it from the yard about a year and a half ago and have been working on her since. The progress is slow since I only come down to the workshop when I’m not busy with pack duties or when I want to clear my head. The engine is done. It just needs a little tuning and some minor adjustments. Now I’m working on the trim, interior and bodywork.

“Bad day?” Ruari said from behind me.

I turned to look back him, a bit startled. I was so wrapped up in my frustrations I didn’t hear him walk in.

“I…ah-” I stuttered not realizing I was holding a wrench that I’ve been bending in half to keep myself from grabbing him.

“That bad huh?” He chuckled eyeing the now bended tool.

I snapped out of my daze and threw the wretched thing on the toolbox before grabbing a rag to wipe the grease off my hands.

“Do you need anything?” I asked trying to look and sound casual when all I really wanted to do was grab him and kiss him senseless. Possibly push him over the hood of the car and bury myself in his warmth and just get lost there.

He eyed me closely before answering. “You said I should tell you if I wanted to go to the city and I was wondering if…”

My head snapped back to him so fast I felt some whiplash but who cares.

Is he asking me out? I can’t believe it!

No, stupid! You practically ordered him to come to you when he decides to go. He’s just being polite. Keiron really knows how to put a damper on things.

“What time do you want to leave?” I asked ignoring Keiron’s annoying snickers.

“We can go another day if you’re busy,” and risk having him change his mind? No fucking way!

“It’s all right. I can’t concentrate anyway.” Which was true.

These days all I could think about is Ruari. I can’t seem to focus on anything for any length of time. Where he was, what he’s doing, who he’s talking to, did he eat, does he think of me too and so on. My thoughts are about trivial things most of the time but there are occasions when my thoughts stray too far on certain subjects that in the end I find myself on a very dark mood.

It’s damn inconvenient when you’re holding a meeting suddenly sporting a hard rod and emanating pheromones of sexual frustration. Nobody is brave enough to make a remark on it, except Lorcan when we’re alone, but I could feel them looking at me skeptically sometimes.

“What do you say about leaving in an hour? I think I need a shower before we go.” I motioned at my filth stained self and he just grinned playfully.

“Grease looks good on you but sure an hour would be perfect.” He said before walking away leaving me smiling like a loon.

Was he flirting with me? Oh gad! I’m sure I just died and went to heaven.

After showering I told Lorcan I’m taking Ruari out. He offered to come with the others but this is the first time in a week that I’m going to be alone with Ruari. I don’t want any distractions so I told him we’d go alone. He wasn’t happy but he understood why.

“If you feel anything suspicious call right away.” Lorcan said as he followed me outside to the garage where Ruari was waiting. “We’ll be on stand by just in case.”

“Yes, mom.”

“I’m serious Ciaran, this is not a joke.”

“I know,” I answered seriously. “Who do you think I am?”

I know the pack is worried. They’re all treading lightly. They are happy that Ruari is finally home and by my side. But they also know I’m on unstable ground with him. Everyone knows we’re estranged and I’m on the process of winning him over. They could sense my distraction and preoccupation at times but I don’t want anyone to think I’m not on my right state of mind to make sound judgments just because I’m wooing a reluctant mate. I maybe sexually frustrated but I have yet to let lust rule my head and put the pack in danger.

“I’m sorry alpha,” he bowed. “I know I overstepped…”

“It’s nothing to apologize for. I know you worry but I’m confident nothing will happen to us in broad daylight.” I placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly. “If anything comes up here just ring me.”

He nodded as we stopped by my car.

“Wow,” Ruari whistled as he walked over to check out my car. “Nice wheels.”

It’s a ’69 Chevy Camaro in black with polished chrome trim and leather interior, the first car I restored.

“I’m glad you approve.” I smiled as I slide behind the wheel. I’ve always been a sucker for muscle cars. My first was a ’67 Pontiac my dad gifted me after I got my license. “Where to?”

“The mall,” he answered looking out the window as we drove away from the pack house. “I need to get a phone and some clothes. I think I’d be staying here for a while.”

I didn’t answer his last statement in fear that I might upset him. But if it were up to me he’d be staying here, with me, forever.

We arrived at the mall and walked inside. It was packed and every girl we passed by was looking at Ruari like he was a piece of something they’d want to eat and lick all over. Ruari seemed oblivious of the attention but it irritates me that they’re looking at him so openly. I glared at the last woman who was staring at him shamelessly before I grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to my side.

He frowned at me and I just shrugged. “There’re too many people here. I don’t want us to be separated from each other.”

“Uh huh,” he murmured. He turned his head away but not before I saw the smile and blush he tried to hide.

I grinned widely and headed towards the mobile center and service provider. So he likes it when I’m being possessive and jealous. Good to know.

Ruari knew what type of phone he wanted and the kind of service he needed so it didn’t take us long to choose. I was pulling out my wallet to hand the cashier my card when Ruari stopped me, handing her his card instead. I looked at him for a moment but decided to let it go.

We went to a shop, a brand I think he likes, and bought clothes and shoes. Again when I tried to pay for the stuff Ruari glared at me and handed his card. I was starting to feel useless and it was damn annoying.

Why the hell won’t he let me pay for him? Only the spirits know I have more money to last me more than a lifetime. And if I can’t pay for the small things that my mate needs then what the hell am I supposed to do with all that wealth?

“What?” He asked playing with his phone.

“Why won’t you let me pay?”

He shrugged, “Because I don’t need you to.”

Because he doesn’t need me to… The statement echoed in my head bruising my already nonexistent ego.

Well damn! Then why did he invite me to come? He seemed to have known what he wanted before we came here so my opinion was scarcely needed. To top it off he doesn’t need my assistance in paying. What am I then, a decoration?

I watched him as he continued to play with the settings of his new phone. Something’s been bugging me and asking would be rude, not to mention it might piss him off, but I’ve been dying to know.

Ruari left everything he owned in the pack house when he left five years ago; his clothes, documents, his bankbook and credit card. I know he hasn’t touched the money settled on his name under the pack account because all documents go through me for approval and everyone in the pack has an allowance and credit limit depending on their rank and status.

When Ruari ran away all he had were the clothes he was wearing and I’m pretty sure those were discarded at the first opportunity. So who’s been financing all of his needs? I don’t like the thought of someone else paying for him when I could easily afford anything he needs and wants.

“Betting.” He said still tapping on his phone.

Some of my thoughts must have shown in my face and the mysterious answer to my unvoiced question is betting?

“What?” I sounded dumb but seriously, betting?

He sighed before pocketing his phone and looking up at me like he would an errant child.

“I earned money betting. I was too young to get a job that pays well but I can bet. Everyone at my school was doing it to get extra cash and I was bored. After a few attempts I realized I have a knack for it. A hundred became a thousand and soon that thousand multiplied to a couple of thousands. I stopped when I had enough cash to try my hands on stocks. Playing there was just like betting. When the money increased I got someone to help me invest it and in five years I earned enough to support myself independently. I’m not as rich as you but I’m well off.”

I don’t know if I should be glad that he found a way to survive on his own or angry that he was forced to do so. I’m happy that he’s independent but I wish he would at least rely on me, even a little. I hope there are things that I’d be able to give him, something he wouldn’t be able to get for himself. Am I being selfish for wishing that?

“Would you at least let me buy you dinner?” I asked hoping he’d agree.

I don’t want to go back, not yet. We’re finally alone and I want to spend as much time alone with him as I can.

He looked at me oddly for a moment before nodding, “Pick the place.”

I sighed happily before taking his hand and leading the way back to the car.

I know it’s small thing but at least he’s not adverse to the idea of spending some time with me. Baby steps, I keep telling myself. I’m not in a hurry, well not really. But I waited five years for this. I think I could hold out a bit longer. I can’t blow this chance. I won’t survive if I lose him again. I have to make this work.  

Patience. Keiron whispered.

And it was all could think about while I drove to the restaurant.