Peter was mindlessly scrolling on Facebook, when he sees a post that said, ‘remember everyone, October is take a big booty girl out on a date, month.’
“That’s funny.” He shares it not really thinking anything of it.
His best friend, Harry was quick to comment, ‘first, you’re a guy. And two you don’t have an ass dude.’
“Rude.” He looks in his full length mirror, turning around to look at his butt.
“I have a bit of an ass, maybe not a dump truck, but it’s nice.”
He realized what he just said and blushed, throwing his phone on the bed and then getting into his Spider-Man suit.
He swings through the city, bored with nothing to do.
“I can’t believe Harry said that. I also can’t believe I checked out my own ass.” He hits himself in the head ‘v8’ style and lands on a building.
“Okay, get your head in the game.” He looks out at the city, waiting for crime because it would eventually happen.
He decided to swing to another part of the city, maybe something was happening there.
He lands on a two story building, close enough to really see if anything happens, but where no one would notice him.
“Come on, please I want something to happen.”
“Most hero’s are happy with no crime.” He turns around to see Deadpool.
“Go away, I don’t want to deal with you.”
“Why? You want something to happen, well i’m something, I can cause a trouble or fix it.” He giggles.
“No. I just want to not think about my personal life at the moment.”
“Why? Having problems with your girlfriend?”
“That’s the problem, I don’t have one.”
He mumbles something that Deadpool couldn’t hear and then swings away.
But the chaotic character wasn’t letting him get away that easily, and follows him.
Spider-Man lands on a tall building and feels safe to check his phone.
He sees another comment on the post he shared.
“I haven’t seen you in a while, but I remember you having a nice 👔
“Oh my god, Wade.” He rolls his eyes, but had a blush hidden under his mask.
“I swear he’s just as bad as Deadpool.”
“Who’s bad like me?”
“Ah!” He jumps back from the anti-hero. “How did you find me?”
“I have my own spidey sense, I will always find that ass.”
He was so glad he had his mask on, Deadpool couldn’t see his bright red face.
“I may be single, but I’m not desperate.” Spider-Man said sternly.
“Well maybe the person you were talking about might be better.”
“I doubt it. But…” he goes silent, thinking.
“I’m sensing some tension in you. Want me to help release it?” Deadpool was close to Spider-Man now, pressing him against the wall.
“Get away from me.”
“Make me.” He holds the hero by his waist, knowing full well that he could break his hand.
“Or do you want me to continue?”
He was thrown back and Spider-Man stands firmly.
“Don’t touch me.” He swings away after that.
Peter got back home, feeling conflicted. He goes back to the comment wade left and noticed that he was having an argument with Harry.
“Dude I get that you’re gay, but Peter doesn’t have an ass.” Said Harry.
“And why would your straight ass comment about a guys ass in the first place?” Wade retorts.
“Just making an observation, and you’re not Peter’s type, he likes pretty boys.”
“Oh my god, Harry you’re so wrong.” He comments to make the two stop.
A few minutes later, Wade sends him a message.
“Wanna make Harry really mad?”
“What do you mean?” He replied.
“You and me should go on a date, and post it. Since he thinks he knows you so well.”
“Seriously, you want to take me out just to piss him off?” Peter felt a little hurt by that. He wanted a real genuine date, maybe Wade wasn’t his first choice, but he’d give him a chance.
“I mean, I’ll wine and dine you like a real gentleman, but I’m not assuming that you would actually like me.”
Peter didn’t know how to respond to that.
He did like wade, but was nervous to tell him.
“I’ll go out with you. But only to prove Harry wrong, because it’s annoying that he would say that for everyone to see.”
“Awesome, I’ll pick you up at 8.”
Peter had five hours to get ready, mentally and physically; what was he going to wear?
He tore his closet apart finding a good enough outfit.
He finally found something, black jeans with a few fashionable holes, and a black polyester blend shirt.
“Wow, I didn’t know I had this.”
He looks himself in the mirror and smiles, feeling confident about himself.
He takes a picture and posted it with the caption, ‘ready for my date’
A comment was already made, it was wade. “Hot damn, I’ll be there sooner.”
Peter blushed and waited for him in the living room.
Harry left a comment too, “You’re not seriously going on a date with Wade fucking Wilson.”
“Yes I am.” Peter comments and puts his phone on silent.
A couple minutes later a knock was on the door.
Peter takes a deep breath and opens it.
“Hi.”
“Hiya, wow you look better in person.”
“Thanks. You clean up nice too.”
“I really tried. I want to impress you.” Wade smiles softly.
“It’s a fake date, you don’t have to impress me.”
“Yeah, right.” He leads the way to his car and opens the door for peter.
They stop at an Italian restaurant, Peter was surprised that it wasn’t a taco truck. But he keeps that comment to himself.
They sit near the window, wade liked the view.
“What can I get you to drink?”
“Um, what’s your wine of the day?”
“Our special for the week is red sangria.”
“Bring the bottle please.”
Peter looks through the menu, seeing wade like this was so different from his usual weird self. He was confident, and took control of everything.
Peter couldn’t process what he was witnessing, so he chose to focus on food instead.
“What are you gonna eat?” Wade asked.
“Probably spaghetti and meatballs.”
“That sounds good, I think I’ll get the fettuccine pasta.”
Their order was placed and wade spent the time making peter laugh, telling jokes like he was a clown. Even though most of the jokes were lame or cringy, peter still laughed because Wade was telling them.
The food arrived and the laughter died down.
Peter didn’t notice, but Wade did; Harry was walking down the street, seeming to have no destination.
Then he stops and stares at Wade through the window.
Wade glanced at Peter and then winks at Harry without him noticing.
Just to have more fun he stabs one of the meatballs and steals it from Peter’s plate.
“Hey. That’s mine.”
“Say ah.” He smirks and holds the fork in front of him.
Peter blushed but leans forward and let’s Wade feed him.
“You’re so cute, I didn’t think you’d actually do it.”
“Shut up, I didn’t want to cause a scene trying to get my food back.” He looks away with a bright blush, his ears were even red.
Harry was long gone and Wade felt good about himself, seeing Harry angry was funny. But peter blushing was the icing on the cake.
“I want to keep making you blush, you’re so beautiful.”
Peter covered his face, hiding the blush that wade wants to see.
“Oh come on.”
“Stop it, that’s embarrassing.”
They continue to eat, wade wanted to embarrass him more but decided against it. Time and place.
After dinner, they went for a walk around the park.
“so what is your type?”
“Um, tall and muscular, definitely not a pretty boy.” He chuckled.
“You are the pretty boy, can’t date someone just like you.”
“Thanks.” He nervously played with his hair.
“Peter, I know we’ve been friends for a while now, and you called this a fake date. But to me it’s been real, and I don’t want to end it with you thinking it was fake.”
“What do you mean?”
“I really like you. I want to be your boyfriend.”
“Really? You’re serious?” Peter looks up at him with a gleam in his eyes. Wade caressed his cheek and smiles softly.
“Yes. Will you be my boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
Wade hugs him, picking him up and spinning around.
“This is the best day of my life.” Wade says loudly.
“Want me to make it even better?”
“How so?” Wade puts him down and tilts his head in curious fashion.
Peter holds Wade by the shoulders and leans up on his toes, and pressed his lips to Wade’s.
Wade wraps his arms around him and kissed back with passion.
When they pull away, both felt the urge to go back in for more but resist when remembering they were outside.
“I’ll take you back home.”
“Okay.”
Wade walks him to the door, and kissed his cheek goodbye.
“Why are you leaving so soon?”
“If I stay, I’ll devour you.”
“Oh Um, I’m not ready for that.” He blushed.
“Let me know when you’re ready.”
Peter goes inside before he makes a mistake, wishing Wade a good night before shutting the door.
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