Sun And Moon One Shots But Mallow And Kiawe Are Besties Spiders Are Scaryy (Multiple Ships)

What is this chatfic
This includes the ships Cuteboneshipping, Bittersweetshipping, and ZRingshipping just because..
Idek:D
It’s pretty long to make up for my absence;-;
Idk their age, maybe twenty something ig??

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Defenestrate Everyone Here
9;00PM

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Hau created chat
Hau added Gladion, Mallow, Lana, Ash, and three others

Hau – Welcome

Ash – What does defenestrate mean

Hau – To throw someone out a window

Ash – I’d like to defenestrate u

Hau – It’s the chat namesake

Kiawe – LANA

Ash – It is?

Hau – Slow mf

Ash – I’m not

Hau – U’ve reached peak stupidity💀 🙏

Lana – Yes????

Kiawe – Idk

Lana – Oki

Ash – No I have not!

Hau – Humanity is done for

Ash – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Gladion – Hau stop bothering him

Hau – Okays:>

Gladion – :3

Sophocles – Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Hau – Stfu

Sophocles – Okay
Sophocles - Pls Im crying-

Lillie – What’s wrong Sophocles?

Sophocles – This chat

Ash – Wow
Ash – That’s kinda cold to say to Lillie

Sophocles – If I said that to Lana u would encourage me

Ash – Well its not cold to Lana bc she’s not innocent like Lillie

Lana – Yea I’m not

Kiawe – Skibidi

Hau has muted Kiawe for ten minutes, he slayed💅💅

Ash – Petition to ban Kiawe from the chat??

Hau – No

Mallow – U know u wouldn’t ban your bf

Ash – Aand you have no bf

Lana – No shit

Mallow – Let her speak

Ash – Anyway back to the topic
Ash – Hau please unmute Kiawe

Hau – Sure

Hau has unmuted Kiawe

Ash – What have you done?

Kiawe – I have committed a warcrime

Ash – You have been nominated

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The Shadow Government

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IHaveNoSanity added Kiawe
IHaveNoSanity changed Kiawe’s name to ICommitCrimes

ICommitCrimes - 👁️ 👄 👁️

IHaveNoSanity – Welcome

ICollectSpiders – Uh Ash why add him

IHaveNoSanity – Idek

IHaveSanity – We can tell

IHaveNoSanity – Well Kiawe u can guess who everyone else is
IHaveNoSanity – I’m Ash loll

ICommitCrimes – I know @ IHaveSanity is Lana bc she and Ash cancel each other out for some fucking bizarre reason

IHaveSanity – Yep

ICommitCrimes – And @ ICollectSpiders is probs Mallow

ICollectSpiders – Mhm:]

ICommitCrimes – I have some questions

IHaveNoSanity – Oh no

ICommitCrimes – Why is Mallow’s name ‘ICollectSpiders’?

ICollectSpiders – I usually put them in Ulu’s room:>

IHaveNoSanity – Lana u might be dating a slight psycho🥲

IHaveSanity – Idc she’s cute
IHaveSanity – UHHHHHHHHHH IGNORE THAT

ICollectSpiders – :> No

ICommitCrimes – Awkward..
ICommitCrimes – Anyways why is this called The Shadow Government?

ICollectSpiders – Look it up

IHaveNoSanity – (This used to be ‘Partners in Crime’ but then I changed it after the bigger gc was made for no reason)

ICommitCrimes – Ohh oki it makes sense

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Defenestrate Everyone Here
9;30PM

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Ash has opened the chat, oh no

Ash – Who’s doing that?

Hau – I am
Hau – I have mod controls so

Ash – Uhm ok anyway
Ash – Sent Attachment;
   Ahh_Spinark_In_My_Fucking_Kitchen_PNG
Ash – I FOUND A SPIDER @ MALLOW !!

Mallow has opened the chat, she’s interested in the spider

Mallow – Gimmie

Ash – I got a jar I’ma go bring it to u

Mallow – Yippee:D

Sophocles has opened the chat, SPIDER!!

Sophocles – Why does she want spiders….?

Ash – So she can scare other girls away from Lana👍

Mallow – Well not really
Mallow – I put them in my brothers bed most of the time

Ash – That 2

Lillie has opened the chat, SPIDERRRRRRR
Gladion has opened the chat, he wishes upon spider

Lillie – Don’t bring that close to me

Gladion – Or me

Sophocles – Or me💀 🙏

Ash – Don’t worry I won’t

Gladion – You better not

Ash has left the chat, spider!
Mallow has left the chat, spider collector!
Lana has opened the chat, she secretly loves spiders

Lana – Uhm
Lana – Actually I do find spiders cute

Lillie – Spiders are ugly

Gladion – They’re fucking terrifying

Lana – Wtf did the spiders do to u?

Gladion – Idk but they have eight legs and like twenty eyes🥲

Lana – But most of them are cute!
Lana – Sent Attachment;
   Cute_Ariados_PNG

Gladion – Well except that spider

Lillie – It’s ugly Lana

Lana – It’s cute!!

Sophocles has left the chat, he’s bored
Mallow has opened the chat, she’s plotting Lillie’s murder

Mallow – WHAT-

Ash has opened the chat, he knows

Ash – Well I do
Ash – I think Hau means u r mad bc Lillie made Lana mad

Hau – Yep:]
Hau – Anyway @ Gladion I made bread using Mallow’s old recipe!!

Gladion – :0
Gladion – GIMMIEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hau – Come over then:3

Gladion has left the chat, he wants bread
Hau has left the chat, he’s given Ash mod controls!!

Ash – Ooh he has!
Ash – Someone leave and then un-leave the chat

Lana has left the chat, she’s confused
Lana has opened the chat, she’s still confused

Ash – Yippeee:D
Ash – Ty Lana

Lana – Np
Lana – Anyway spiders are cute Lillie don’t deny it

Lillie – I’m going to go kill a spider

Kiawe has opened the chat, Lana’s absolutely cooked

Kiawe – Lana.

Lana – Wat

Kiawe – You just corrupted Lillie!!
Kiawe – She said she was going to go murder a spider!!
Kiawe – Lillie doesn’t kill Pokemon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lana – Oh shit

Lillie – I was joking. It’s okay, Kiawe

Lillie has left the chat, I have no words
Sophocles has opened the chat, he hates notifications
Gladion has opened the chat, he’s probs finished his bread already

Kiawe – Good
Kiawe – But still now Lana’s committed a warcrime

Lana – It’s one of many

Mallow – Another one was eating dish soap

Lana – I was just curious!!

Mallow – And a stupid dumbass🥲

Ash – Well Mallow u must see her name is literally ‘IHaveSanity’
Ash – So that’s a bit inaccurate

Sophocles – It’s not..

Ash – Oh sorry
Ash – It is in The Shadow Government tho

Gladion – The Shadow what??

Ash – Government👁️ 👄 👁️ ☕

Kiawe – It’s a gc containing me, Ash, Lana, and Mallow
Kiawe – It was originally just them three but I guess since I created a crime and I have a relationship status bc I am the bf of the creator, I got added

Gladion – Um ok

Ash – Idek emo kid but its there ig👍

Gladion has left the chat, he’s confused af

Sophocles – I love this already

Ash – Same-

Lana has left the chat, she’s going to go help Mallow

Mallow – Uhm…???

Ash – There’s multiple ways that can be interprutted
Ash – I mean that she’s going to go help (not) plot murder and provide moral support as you throw the spider into Ulu’s room

Mallow – Sounds like a plan

Ash – Lol

Mallow has left the chat, PET DAT SPIDER
Sophocles has left the chat, he thinks Lana is weird even if she’s better than him
Ash has left the chat, Idek what to put here

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The Alolan Airlines No-Fly List Excluding Ash
3;00AM

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ToastedBagel – Yo (Hau)

BlueberryMuffin – Wat (Mallow)

BurntToast – Oi (Sophocles)

MelonBread – Wsg (Gladion)

ToastedBagel – Holy shit everyone’s online??

BurntToast – Well no shit dumbass

MelonBread – Soph don’t go bitching around ur the only fucking dumbass here

BurntToast – Yessir🫡

BlueberryMuffin – Gladion speaks facts

ToastedBagel – I expected Mallow to cuss him out instead of my bf but ok

BlueberryMuffin – He typed faster than me

MelonBread – :]

ToastedBagel – ANYWAYS we loved ur bread recipe Mallow
ToastedBagel – It was so fucking good

BlueberryMuffin – :]

BurntToast – How’d this go to cussing people out to discussing bread again

ToastedBagel – Blud idek💀🤌

BurntToast – Lmao

MelonBread – Hold on I’ll send a bread pic:3
MelonBread – Sent Attachment;
   Some_Bread_Hau_Made_PNG

BurntToast – AHH THAT LOOKS SO GOOD!!!:D

BlueberryMuffin – :0

ToastedBagel – :>
ToastedBagel – It took some help from my gramps but it was really good!!

MelonBread – No shit!!!!!!!!!!

BurntToast – Can you save some for us next time??

ToastedBagel – Yea:]

BlueberryMuffin has left the chat, she’s gonna go find some bread!!

ToastedBagel – Wait who has mod commands again??

MelonBread – Me:3

BurntToast has left the chat, he forgot to do his homework:d

MelonBread – I mean he probably did

ToastedBagel – Fr

MelonBread has left the chat, he’s bored
ToastedBagel has left the chat, oh no

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The Shadow Government
4;00AM

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IHaveNoSanity has opened the chat, he’s starting up drama!

IHaveNoSanity – Hot guy get over here

ICommitCrimes has opened the chat, hii

ICommitCrimes – Wat

ICollectSpiders – Ash why tf did you call him ‘hot’?????????!?

IHaveSanity - 👁️ 👄 👁️ He’s stupid

IHaveNoSanity – You two have no say bc neither of u like men
IHaveNoSanity – Therefore neither of u can decree if a man is hot or not

ICollectSpiders – We still have eyes tho

IHaveNoSanity – Are u calling him ugly?

ICollectSpiders – No, he’s just not hot

IHaveSanity – Kiawe, she’s just being nice

ICommitCrimes – Uh oh..

IHaveSanity – You are in fact ugly

ICollectSpiders – LANA-

ICollectSpiders has left the chat, she threw her phone across the room!
ICollectSpiders has opened the chat, she’s about to cuss someone out!!

ICollectSpiders – I wouldn’t dare cuss a beautiful person out
ICollectSpiders – But I am sorry for her actions Kiawe..

IHaveSanity – She’s not:>

ICollectSpiders – Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhm

IHaveSanity – You love me

ICollectSpiders – No fucking shit
ICollectSpiders – You’re stupid as hell if you ever doubt that🥲

IHaveSanity – :>

IHaveNoSanity – You just said u wouldn’t dare cuss someone out

ICollectSpiders – I didn’t really cuss her out

IHaveNoSanity – Uhhh

ICollectSpiders – No one may cuss Lana out without getting galvanized square steel thrown at them by me
ICollectSpiders – I would prefer not to throw a sheet of metal at myself soo

ICommitCrimes – That sounds like a non-direct threat

ICollectSpiders – That’s bc it is

ICommitCrimes has left the chat, he’s afraid of Mallow!!
ICollectSpiders has left the chat, she’s getting some steel!:0

IHaveSanity – The hell-

IHaveNoSanity – Idek💀 🙏
IHaveNoSanity – This is The Shadow Government;-;

IHaveSanity – Uh ok
IHaveSanity – I’m going to the main group ig

IHaveNoSanity – Me 2!!

IHaveSanity has left the chat, I think she’s gonna get a couple crackers
IHaveNoSanity has left the chat, he’s weird!!

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Defenestrate Everyone Here
4;00AM

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Gladion has opened the chat

Gladion – HAU

Hau has opened the chat, you’ve done it now!

Hau – GLADION

Gladion – Can I have mod commands?:]

Hau – Oki

Hau has given Gladion moderator commands

Gladion – Hehehehhehehehehehehehe

Hau – That’s concerning

Gladion – Ik>:]

Hau – Uh I’ma go check my bread🫡

Hau has left the chat, give me bread!!!!!!!!!
Ash has opened the chat, he’s scared!

Ash – I am wth

Lana has opened the chat, she wants to go pet a spider

Lana – :> I do

Gladion – Weird spider lover

Lana – SPIDERS ARE CUTEWWEEEEEEEWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ash – Whut..

Mallow has opened the chat, holy shit-
Sophocles has opened the chat, these notifications annoy him

Lana – Spiders are cute. It is not weird to think spiders are cute

Mallow – Spiders are kinda creepy

Lana – Then why do you collect them so religiously???

Mallow – To scare my brother:]
Mallow – Also I almost never put spiders in his room
Mallow - I’ve done it like five times in the past 3 years

Ash – Her answers are valid
Ash – Lana the question is, how tf are spiders cute???

Lana – Bc…they are. They’re not weird!!

Gladion – It is weird to think spiders r cute

Lana – Its not!!!

Hau has opened the chat, he agrees with Lana

Hau – :0 holy shit I do
Hau – Most spiders are cute Gladion🥲

Gladion – I refuse to believe such a statement

Hau – I swear-
Hau – Someone give @ Lillie some bleach for her innocent eyes💅💅

Lillie has opened the chat, Hau’s really done it

Lillie – I don’t need bleach, Hau

Mallow – What he means is that u should get the hell out of here

Lillie has left the chat, she’s a bit offended
Kiawe has opened the chat, damn late af

Hau – ANYWAYS

Kiawe – Damn he’s been typing for a while;-;

Mallow – Like five minutes..

Lana – He’s explaining the truth
Lana – That takes time

Kiawe – True

Hau – Gladion, you see;
   Spiders are in fact cute. Since the sight of spiders being cute is only seen through sensible eyes, you may not see the fact that spiders are cute. This is backed up by the fact Ash and Sophocles confirmed Lana is the sanest person here, so she is not insane for making that statement. She is actually quite right, because spiders are cute. This means spiders are cute, and you will not question it. If you do not understand the following sentences, you may ask for the other explanation.

Gladion – I need the other explanation

Hau – Bruh fine

Sophocles – Oh no💀🤌

Ash – Lolll

Gladion – Shit..

Hau – Okay listen up bitches!!
   Spiders are so fucking cute. Idc if they have eight legs and thirty eyes, bc they are cute!! Deal with that. The reason they are cute? THEY ARE. They are cute. Deal with the truth stupid.

Gladion – That was so much easier to understand-

Hau – Lmfao

Ash – Idek, I’m going to sleep

Ash has left the chat, sleep well!
Lana has left the chat, she’s going to go cuddle Mallow

Mallow – ..

Gladion – She told me she secretly loves your cuddles during some conversation we had🥲

Mallow – She does:>

Mallow has left the chat, Lana probably found her
Kiawe has left the chat, he found this romantic stuff funny
Hau has left the chat, bye bye<3
Sophocles has left the chat, he needs help
Gladion has left the chat, yippee!!

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Wellllllllllllllllllllllll press A if I should make a part two of this chaos

I made most of this during my fucking lectures loll (I sit in the back so they didn’t notice me using my phone)
I’ma go make another actual one shot (which will take forever lmao)
2090 words!