It didn’t really surprise me that he’d be here, but what surprised me was the fact that he was writing in some sort of journal. His signature silver highlight were visible even in the night. His oversized hoodie completely covered his mop of hair. He didn’t take notice to me, completely absorbed in whatever he was writing.
“You don’t have very good survival skills do you?” I sat right next to him on the blanket laid out beneath him. He carried on writing without answering for a few seconds. “I knew it was you, from here a can get a clear view of who enters the forest but they can’t see you.” He lifted up his pen and pointed to the distance. He’s right. I could even see the school’s empty garden from here. I leaned my head against the tree bark and we sat in a comfortable silence. I could still hear the movements of his pen but it didn’t really bother me.
“What are you writing?” I broke the silence out of curiosity. I could never really stay quiet for a long time, it really bothered me. My thoughts would spiral and it would feel like an endless abyss of my own making. “A poem.” He glanced at me. It surprised me really because Alystair always found a way to avoid questions. Maybe it’s cause he answered me i found myself smiling softly.
“Isn’t it funny?” Alystair closed his book and turned towards me and gave me his whole attention. “How the stars hide behind the clouds like they’re scared. Scared to reveal their beauty to the world because its in human nature to abuse beautiful things?” I muttered the last part. I closed my eyes and leaned back against the bark. “Mmm that’s a nice way of looking at it.” Alystair said. I opened an eye and saw him looking up at the stars. “No insults?” I smiled softly. He looked over to me, his hair was pulled back so now i could really see his eyes and face. “I’m too tired for that.” He exhaled. Carrying around a facade is exhausting. I would know.
“Can you read me your poem?” I asked him. The silence encaged us, my words thick in the tense atmosphere i created. But all of that floated away as soon as he read.
“In the shadows i don’t have to hide
In the darkness I don’t have to speak
I wont have to feign indifference
Or act like you’re just a friend
Because in the night my feelings scream
Begging to be let out
But when the light peaks through the curtains
I will be what you want me to be
A friend and nothing more
Act like I don’t see you as my world
Try my best not to notice the curve of your lips
It’s unbearable.
But at least in the darkness
You’ll really see me
Our words and delicate touches will float into the night
Let me have you just this once
Please.”
( @partofgenZ its her poetry go check it out!)
He’s voice carried raw, authentic emotions i have never heard from him. I didn’t open my eyes, I don’t think he’d want me to. It describes Alystair perfectly. His facade, the amount of impenetrable walls he puts up. Everyday he builds a wall. Soon he would have built a prison around himself.
I didn’t know what to say, so i said the first thing that came to mind.
(ROLL THE MF CREDITS BITCHES:)
“If only people knew how much of a hopeless romantic you were.” He chuckled besides me. I opened my eyes and found him staring at me. His everyday glare etched into the back of my mind hadn’t revealed itself. I didn’t break my stare and neither did he. “Then it’s a good thing they don’t. And we’re not going to tell them.” My laugh echoed through the night and i found myself saying, “have you ever been in love alyss?”
“21 questions?” He asked instead of answering. “I did say I’ll play it with you when your sober.” He explained. I remembered but I didn’t want to tell him. “Okay but your answering my question first.” He nodded and turned his body more towards me.
“No. In a world full of people who play around with each others feelings i feel like its now a delusion. He exhaled and said, “you?”
“Nope.” I popped the p. “I don’t believe in it.” I shrugged. He hummed and said playfully , “I wouldn’t expect any less from the f-boy himself.”
I shrugged. “What’s your favourite color?” I made a sound of annoyance, “i thought we were supposed to get to know each other?” He let out a faint laugh. “Grey.” I answered anyway. “Yours?” He didn’t even have to think about it before answering, “black.”
“Makes sense. Black like your heart.” I teased him. He didn’t seem to take offense to it and asked me, “why did you move here?” I stiffened but his head was tilted upwards gazing at the stars so he didn’t notice. “Hasn’t Zora told you?” He shrugged.
“i don’t believe you.” I raised my eyebrow and he seemed to take notice of it. “Your parents are both wealthy, your life back in Africa seems practically perfect and you had all the friends in the world or were you just being rebellious against mommy and daddy?” He listed them off his fingers and each thing he mentioned struck a chord.
“How do you know all of that?”
“Having a sister who gossips all the time has its perks.”Â
“My brother died. It nearly broke my family.” My voice cracked as i spoke. I hated remembering him. I hated the fact that I didn’t want to remember him. “This was my fresh start.” I hated the guilt gnawing inside me.
“It’s really sad, how we all have an expiration date.” I laughed. Not because of what he said but i was thankful he didn’t say an obligatory ‘sorry’ or anything of the sort.
“Why did you hate me when i first came here?” I changed the topic. He seemed to notice but answered anyways. “I didn’t hate you Romen. I just found nothing to like about you, it’s nothing personal.” There was no humor or sarcasm in his voice. “So that means you found something about me to like?” I teased him expecting him to recoil but instead he leaned closer until his nose brushed against mine. “Mmm.’ He whispered into the darkness. He got up and turned to a frozen me and smirked, “its getting way to late now and contrary to popular belief, i like to keep my grades up.” I got up and dusted myself. He walked lazily ahead of me and we walked back to the dorms back in silence.
“Do you always write poetry?” I asked behind him. He carried on walking but answered, “always. Prove yourself and i might just let you read another one.” I tsked in response. “Why would i prove anything to you?” He’s steps came to a halt and he turned around to face me. I walked closer to him but put some distance between us. “If you want to be my friend you have to be anything but mediocre.” I laughed and shoved past him. “What does that make you?” He spoke full of confidence, “I’m excellence in itself.”
We walked into the dormitory building and parted ways before i turned around, confidently walked up to him and stood inches away from him. “For what its worth, i find you infinitely more interesting now.” I leant in and whispered in his ear. I smirked when he stiffened and walked away with the last words.
I only heard his footsteps after a good 30 seconds.
A/N
Check out the poetry made by @partofgenZ
ROLL THE MF CREDITS BITCHES
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