My heart stopped.
My head felt numb. For the first time in my life the facade i put up was slowly starting to unravel on itself. I couldn’t pick up the phone and just pretend. In my drunken haze the memories of us never faded, I remembered everything. I wish I didn’t but even when my mind was under the influence my heart and feelings for him remained constant, unconstrained by time. It spanned throughout infinity, boundless. What i felt for him defied everything i knew.
I answered.
“Romen.” Then line went silent and i sighed.
“Alystair what is this, we go back and forth and i just…” i sighed at the slur of my speech. At least he wont be able to make out my words. “What are you talking about?” The boredom behind his words laid evident, at least I knew how he felt about me. “Nevermind it’s not important”
“Nothing you say isn’t important to me.” I threw my head back, maybe the heavens would give me the answers. The line went silent again. I would remember every word he said to me. “You sure act otherwise.” I chuckled. The party going on wasn’t even worth it anymore.
“Say that to my face.” I was confused by his words until the front door to the party opened and all eyes laid on him. None of us hung up. Every person who was here was entranced by him. His hair laid against his face and his face spoke before he even did.
Beautiful.
He stalked up to be before saying through the phone, “say that again.”
I smirked.
“You sure act otherwise.” He scowled but then again he was always scowling. “You asked me if i would ever come if you told me to and I didn’t give you an answer.” I raised my eyebrow at him before we both hung up.
“Romen…” he paused as if contemplating his next words. “You could tell me to follow you to the ends of the earth and i would.” Even through the hair that laid on his face i could see everything that laid dormant behind his eyes. A war broke out in him as he said that but he kept it in. I knew him like the back of my hand. I gently took his hand and led him outside before dropping it.
“Is that your declaration of love?” I chuckled. He stalked closer to me. The wind blew at us and i could finally see under all his hair.
The chaos in his eyes was a promise that would last centuries.
“You deserve far better than that, maybe if you’re lucky someone would give that to you.” With every word he seemed to utter he wedged a sword in through my heart. I tsked and shrugged my shoulders. We walked to his McLaren, my favorite car of his. As we were driving i drifted off to sleep but his voice in a whisper made its way to me, or a dream.
“I would.”
“Wake up.” Alystair shook me aggressively, i knocked his hands off me and gave him a glare. I immediately recognised where we were at, his apartment. “Not even a date Alystair?” I said playfully. He glared at me. Hard. I laughed hysterically at his reaction. “Oh man i feel sorry for your girlfriend.” I said in fits of laughter.
As we were opening the door to his apartment he spoke again. “Believe me I’d never have one.” IÂ raised my eyebrow even though he couldn’t see it. We went into his room and i slumped on the bed in a groan. “Sleep on the floor.” I whipped my head around in shock, i thought he was joking but he crossed his arms waiting for me to move. “What if I’m scared of the dark?” I cocked my head. He gave a scoff at my question and i raised my eyebrow up in further questioning. “Then sleep in the bathroom with the lights on.” I couldn’t believe this guy. I took myself off the bed like he wanted but made my way for the door. “Wait.” He groaned in irritation. I turned around in a smirk waiting for him to carry on
“Please.” Nothing could have prepared me for the plea that left his lip. My smirk dropped. Maybe i still had the alcohol in my system because Alystair never begs. I think he’d rather die. No words exchanged between us after that. A silence washed over us as we moved in motion to get ready for bed. I was putting the last blanket on the floor when Alystair said, “I can’t make you sleep there come here.” I turned around and smirked. “You want me so bad alyss.”
He scoffed.
“You are the most delusional person I’ve ever met, id rather listen to Zora and Zainab being delusional than this.”
We got into the bed and turned off the lights. We slept facing away from one another and after a good 30 minutes i still couldn’t fall asleep so i did the only logical thing i could think of. “Are you awake?” I kept my voice low. “Mmm.” He answered. I turned around to face him and we were at eye level now. “I don’t understand why you wouldn’t be able to get a girlfriend. You have the money, looks, and height so why wouldn’t you have one?”
“Because i have more important things to care about.” I pondered on what he said and fell into a deep sleep.
I woke up to a ruckus in the apartment, i was confused. But even more confused when i saw Zainab and Zora by the edge of the bed staring at me. In my sleep. I searched the bed and Alystair wasn’t here. I raised my eyebrow up in confusion. I hopped out of the bed and went to brush my teeth. I smiled when i still saw my toothbrush next to his from the last time i was over. I showered and changed into the clothes i left here the last time. I didn’t talk to Zora and Zainab yet because i had to sort out my thoughts. I got out of the bathroom and immediately went to close Alystairs bedroom door so he doesn’t hear us.
“Guys i think I’m fucked.” They looked at one another in confusion. “What do you mean, did someone fuck you, likely our butthole?” Zora asked in all seriousness. I couldn’t take these two seriously and laughed. “No on a serious note though.”
“I think i like Alystair.” The room went silent and their eyes softened up. “We know, the way you look at each other says it all.” Zainab said gently.
“Yeah well that’s the problem, i look at him like that just me. If i knew I’d end up falling for him I wouldn’t have started any of this.” I sighed in utter frustration. “The one time i like someone is the one time they don’t like me. Maybe this is my karma for fucking around all these years just look its finally catching up to me and God knows I wish he liked me too.” I bowed my head down in defeat.
“You seriously think he doesn’t like you?” Zora got up and sized me up. “He is gonna get a girlfriend settle down fuck around and have some kids but at the end of the day i’ll still fucking like him I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
“I don’t say this lightly romen but my brother definitely likes you, he has never had a single friend before you, not even one. Then you came and changed his entire life around he likes you in ways you will never begin to understand.” I took her hand off me in frustration. It was as if they just wanted to lie to me.
“Stop fucking lying.”
She threw her purse onto the bed in irritation and began looking for something. Zainab got the hint on whatever they were trying to look for and began searching with her. Zora found whatever it was and turned around. His phone. I raised my eyebrow. She came over to my side and showed it to me. “What am i supposed to do with this?” She rolled her eyes at my question.
“Switch it on and just look.” I did just that
“What.” I whispered in shock. It was me and him. As his wallpaper when we were at the track. The first time we hugged and he actually hugged me back. It was taken from the stands in black and white and it was to say the least beautiful. Why did he have this as his wallpaper?
“He likes you Romen but he is scared.” I turned to them both in shock. “Scared of what?” I asked in a faint voice, still not clear enough to ask out loud. “Being hurt and played, you do have a reputation after all and I don’t want my brother hurt.”
“All i want to do is care for him.” I’ve never been this truthful in my life. I want to show him the world, give it to him on a silver platter but that still wouldn’t be enough. I’d let him claw my heart out so long as he is the one doing it.There is nothing i wouldn’t do for him and it frightens me the lengths I’m wiling to go to.
A/N
I’m nearly done with exams ahh!!! I can’t wait for you to read this 🙂 please COMMENT and tell me your thoughts i love love love listening and reading to all of them.
THE LOVE IVE BEEN GETTING ON TAINTED WINGS IS CRAZY WHERE DID ALL OF YOU COME FROM IM SO THANKFUL OMG THANK YOU THANK YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU ALL MWAHH!
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