“Hurt me with the truth but never comfort me with your lies.”
LISA
1 Week Before Vacation
I saw Rosé walking towards me in the hallway while Jisoo was silently following her at the back. When she was only a few meters away from me, I opened my arms as if I was about to hug her. I saw how her smile showed up brightly. I ran towards her and she also reciprocated my action, but then when we were about to close our distance, I immediately skipped and hugged Jisoo instead.
“YAAAAAH!” Rosé yelled. Jisoo and I just laughed at her.
“Opps! My bad!” I acted cutely.
“How’s the finals?” Jisoo asked as she anchored her arm on me.
“Easy. I think I only got two or three mistakes.”
“Woahh. The confidence is overflowing!” Rosé teased.
“I was born confident,” I said before I winked at her.
“Gross!”
“Where are you going by the way?”
“To the SSG Office. Wanna come?”
“Sure! I want to see my nini too.”
“You’re so whipped!” Rosé uttered in disgust.
“What whipped? Whipped cream?” I responded as I let out a chuckle.
“Nope. Whipped as in BOTTOM!”
At the SSG Office
“Lisa-yah. Have you told Jennie about the reason why you purposely hit on her first?” Jisoo asked as she sat down beside me.
“Not yet, I’m scared.”
“She deserves to know Lisa. And it’s up to her whether to forgive you or not.”
“You’re threatening me Chaeng!”
“It’s not that. I’m just suggesting that it would be better to tell her that you intentionally bugged her and wooed her because Bambam wants to get his silly revenge by using you!”
“Chaeng’s right. You better speak to her before it’s too late.”
They are right. I should tell Jennie about it. I was really planning on telling her why I intentionally wanted to get close to her but there’s something inside me that is too afraid of what will be her reaction. She might hate me and not talk to me anymore…and I’m afraid of that possibility.
“I can’t tell Jennie about that yet…I need some time.”
“It’s better to tell her the truth yourself before she finds it out from the mouth of others.”Â
“Was it fun playing with me, Lisa?” a cold tone coming from the door stroke me like lightning. Jisoo and Rosé got startled too. Their face were as pale as mine.
“N-no. Jennie! W-wait!” I shouted as I ran after her.
“I’m sorry Lisa-yah,” I heard Rosé whispered as she washed her face with her palms.
I ran faster towards Jennie. When I got closed to her, I forcefully held her wrist and spun her around. She immediately shoved my hand away. Her eyes were raging like fire. I can’t help but feel scared as I stood before her hoping that she’ll let me explain and hear my side.
“Was I a good sport? Huh? Lisa?”
“J-jen, let me explain okay?”
“What’s there to explain?! I’ve heard it all! You and your lies. I thought you were different but I guess I was wrong. I shouldn’t have met you. I shouldn’t have fought for you—” I saw how her tears fell down. This sucks. I promised not to make her cry, but here she is, crying in front of me, hurting because of me.
“It’s not what you think it is! What you heard isn’t everything!”
“Nothing changes the fact that you lied to me! Let’s… let’s split up. I don’t want to see your face anymore. Let’s end this here.”
“N-no Jennie—”
Before I could explain, she left me.
I stood there, dumbfounded.
Pained.
Hopeless.
I couldn’t even muster up my courage and ran after her again, hug her and tell her that I love her,tell her that my feelings for her are real. I wanted to tell her that not everything is a lie. There has been no lies in my action. It was all genuine, I was true.
Now I realized what is the worst feeling that has ever come to my knowing, that is when your heart is hurting but your tears are dry. I couldn’t even cry. It’s just the sore in the inside and there’s no outlet to somehow lessen the heavy load.
1 Day Before the Vacation
Jennie. She has changed. She doesn’t even answer my calls nor reply to my messages. She walks away everytime I go near her. She hates me. She hates me very much. Chaeng and Jisoo tried explaining my side but she doesn’t listen. She leaves everytime they start to talk about me.
To her, I’m like a person with a contagious disease. And I hate myself for that. I’m still hurting and it gets worse as time goes by.
I miss her. I miss everything about her. Her hugs, her touch, her scent, her kisses, her smile, her laugh, her voice.
I miss everything about Jennie.
“Lisa?” Mina asked.
I didn’t even realize that my feet had taken me to their office. I’m like a hopeless romantic who kept on chasing after her. The rumor about the break up had spread. Many were saddened by the fact that we are no longer together while some were happy because they can hit on Jennie and I again.
“Oh. Sorry. I was just passing by.”
“She’s not here. I saw her entering the gym earlier,” Mina gave me a knowing smile. I’ve been doing this everyday. Wandering around their office and lurking near her classroom.
“Thanks Myoui!” I said as I gave her a tired smile.
My feet dragged me to the gym. It was almost sunset and this will be the last day that I’ll be here at school. That’s why I need to try and talk to Jennie again today or else I will be left with no chance at all.
I was welcomed by an eerie silence in the gym. Of course students aren’t here anymore. Many had gone home already. This could be a perfect chance to ask forgiveness from her.
I saw Jennie sitting on the ground at the left corner of the gym. I was just about to go near her when someone hugged her from the back.
It was Mino. Jennie was surprised by the action but then when she stood up, Mino quickly pressed his lips against Jennie’s.
That’s when I felt my world went down the drain. The tears which had been hiding in the casket of my heart had started falling just like how my knees are trembling to fall down too.
The sound of my phone hitting the ground surprised Jennie and Mino. It was like a wake up call which made me flee from the place faster than the speed of light.
Rosé and Jisoo saw me but I was too preoccupied by pain to notice and talk to them. I saw how their eyes worriedly darted on me. I ran to my car and left the school.
I know I wronged her but how can she replace me in just a matter of days?
Am I that easy to forget?
Am I?
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