Scarlett and I have hung out after every game so far. It’s only been at her house because Dad is back. This weekend, I didn’t leave. I mean, Scarlett and I went out but I showered at her house, slept there, and ate there all weekend.
And her parents were completely okay with it.
Her mom, I mean.
Her dad hasn’t been there at the same time as me. He hasn’t been there at all.
Chip isn’t happy about it.
No, he has hated me since 7th grade and I still don’t know why.
Sydney, Yoda, and Mobius think it’s hilarious. I’m head over heels for a straight girl who is slowly becoming one of my closest friends.
It’s weird.
And it hurts like a bitch.
I mean, outside of school, we talk and hang out and do things almost every day. But in school, I hardly exist to her.
And that hurts even worse.
“You’ve barely touched your mash, dude.” Mobius pointed his fork at my still full plate. He decided we’re better company than those meat heads and started sitting with us at lunch everyday instead of once a week.
“I’m just not hungry.” I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at the cheerleaders sitting at an overly full table. Scarlett included.
“Diana’s mashed potatoes are your favorite thing in this school.” Yoda put his phone face down and leaned forward, “What the hell is happening?”
I shook my head, “I think it has something to do with my period.” I looked between the boys, “Want more details?”
Mobius raised his lip up, “Nothing against your menstrual cycle and props to you for dealing with it, but I don’t want to hear about it.” He put his hands up, “In a feministic way! I will totally go buy you ice cream or chocolate or a pillow the perfect shape for your back, but I don’t want details.”
I laughed so hard I started to cry. Sydney was doing the same.
When I finally calmed down, I looked back up at him, “Thank you Mobius. I understand.”
I needed that laugh. Coach W has been working us so hard for the past 3 weeks. And between hockey, school, and Scarlett, my head is a mess.
“Oh my God.” Sydney kicked me under the table.
“Ow Syd.” I rubbed my shin, “What?”
“Gabriella.”
My heart dropped and I turned to the entry doors to the cafeteria, “No fucking way.”
“What does Gabriella have to do with anything?” Mobius raised his eyebrows, clearly confused about what the hell was going on.
Meanwhile, I am freaking out.
“I’m gonna go.” I grabbed my bag and glanced at Mo, “I will explain every little detail to you later, but I have to get out of here.”
“Natalie. I was hoping I’d find you in here.” She’s wearing a light blue crop top that has a tiny sunflower on it. White pants. Black Vans. I’m the one who taught her how to dress so i will take the credit on her decent outfit.
That’s not the point.
“This is the lunch room. And it is lunch time.” I looked at my watch, “Oops. I told Coach I’d do some drills. Gotta run.”
She grabbed my arm, “I need to talk to you.”
I nodded, trying so hard to keep my cool when really, I just wanted to explode on her. But this is the school cafeteria. And I am not an idiot. “Maybe later.”
“Please.” Her grip tightened around my bicep.
“No, Gab.” I looked at her, “You just- No.” I pulled away and walked out of the large room, feeling a few eyes on me. Either they were watching or I was paranoid.
Then I heard footsteps behind me and I almost physically groaned.
“I’m sorry.”
I turned and looked at her, “What are you doing here?” I kept my voice quiet and strong. I am so upset right now I want to go punch her in the face.
“I’m back.”
I scoffed.
“My dad and I just moved back. I mean, don’t get me wrong, California is great but…” She shook her head, “Ever since I found out we were coming back, I thought of what to say.”
“Right now you want to say something. Was it too much for you to tell us you were moving?”
She pursed her lips together, “I thought it was the best way to do it. Pretend like nothing was wrong.”
“No Gabriella! The best way to do it would’ve been you telling us as soon as you found out.” I closed my eyes and reeled my temper in, “You could’ve told me.”
She stepped closer to me, “I didn’t know how.”
“So you’re back. Yay.” I looked at her, “But we’re not friends. You’re not friends with my friends. You can’t sit with us.”
“Natalie, that’s a little-“
I shook my head, “You broke my fucking heart. You do not get to fix this.”
“Can’t you let me try?” She put her hands on my shoulders, “You have no idea how much I thought about you, okay? I have missed you like crazy and I am so sorry that I left without saying anything and I know you will never, ever get back together with me but I fought so hard just to get back here. To get back to you. To our friends.” She dropped her hands, “I will respect your boundaries but I still love you. And I want us to be friends.”
“I don’t know what to say, Gab.” I shrugged and backed away from her, “Do you realize how much you hurt me? How much you hurt Yoda and Sydney when you left? Like, you broke me. I didn’t go to school for weeks. Even my dad was worried.”
She nodded and looked down, “I know.”
“And then you posted a different girl on your story.” I laughed, “You kissing another girl on your story when you and I hadn’t officially broken up yet.”
“Natalie that was not what-“
“Fucking save it.” I shook my head, “Maybe, in like, a few months we can try to be friends but to me, you’re still an asshole. An arrogant, selfish, asshole.”
She nodded and took a step back, “Thank you for your honesty.”
I watched her walk back into the cafeteria.
Gabriella used to be a popular girl. She was on the basketball team. And she was openly gay. People supported her and she got popular because she fit one of those high school cliches.
The bell finally rang and I walked to my Physics class.
Sydney took her spot next to me, “How was that?”
I shook my head, “She’s sorry but she’s Gabriella.” I looked at her, “I don’t know what I should do.”
“We’ll talk about it before the game tonight.” She smiled and gave me a side hug, “You okay?”
No. Seeing her hurts almost as much as seeing her story post.
“Fine.”
“I’ve seen through your lies since elementary school, Wilson. Spill.”
“I’m just hurting. I don’t know how else I would put that. It hurts. Like, imagine you saw Preston Michaud and he was apologizing and asking to be friends again.”
“It was Preston level bad?”
“It was the Gabriella incident of December level bad.”
“Oh God.” She hugged me closer, “I wanted to go out there but Yoda was all like ‘No let her do her thing’ and I really didn’t want to listen to him but Mobius agreed so I listened to them when i clearly should’ve listened to my best friend intuition-“
“Syd.” I squeezed her arm, “I’m fine now.”
“Are you sure you can go to the game?”
First game of the season. Monday, September 2nd.
Also my mother’s birthday.
I shrugged, “It’s just a Monday. Just a day. Just a game.”
She took her arms off of me, “Liar.”
Comment