“You’re home late.” His voice came from the dining room.
I looked at my watch. 2:57. I get out at 2:15.
I set my bag on the chair and went straight into the dining area. And he was sitting at the head of the table, the papers scattered with papers. I smiled at him, “Hi dad.”
He looked up at me, a frown on his face, “Where were you?”
“I had to talk to Coach Whittaker after school.” I stared at him, “How was-“
He set his glass down loudly. His scotch glass. He’s drunk. “When I tell you a time,” He stood up, “I expect you to be here before that time.”
“Dad. I swear to God, I tried. I left as soon as I could.”
“Are you back talking?”
“Wha-” I furrowed my eyebrows, “I was just-“
He slapped me, “Don’t talk back to your father!”
I held my cheek and swallowed my tears. “Yes sir.”
“Go to your room.”
I turned towards the stairs.
“Leave your phone on the table.”
“What?” I turned and looked at him.
He sat back at the table, “Put it down.” He pointed to the table, “Right here.”
I pulled the phone out of my back pocket and set it on the table.
I am 17 years old. I haven’t had to turn my phone in to anyone since I was 12.
I walked up to my room and sat on my bed.
I hate that he controls me. Because he’s a father but he’s not a dad. I want a dad. I want someone who respects me and cares for me and won’t judge me. I want Patty. I want Gordon. I want Coach. I want anyone besides the guy I got stuck with.
I pulled the jar out from under my bed and took out a blunt. The fattest one there.
I set it between my lips.
The Fault In Our Stars had a good point. Just holding it between my teeth makes me feel better.
But I know I’ll feel a lot better after it’s in my system.
I closed and locked my door then slid the blanket behind it on the bottom so it would keep the smell in.
I open my window and climbed right on the roof behind the chimney. This spot is concealed from the driveway and road. No one can see me unless they go into the backyard and past the shed.
Or they crawl on the roof.
I lit the sucked and took a long inhale, holding it in for a moment.
The release was iffy but I haven’t smoked in a while.
I have no idea how long I sat on that roof for. At least 30 minutes. That blunt was huge.
By the time I made it back in my room, the sun was setting, my eyes were watering, and I was really hungry.
I lit a candle and started to work on my homework.
Then there was a knock on the door, “Natalie?” It was my father.
“Come in.” I unlocked the door as soon as I came back inside. There’s a no lock rule in this house when Julius is home.
“There’s chicken downstairs. KFC.” He set my phone on the desk next to me, “Sydney called a few times.” He walked back to the door and rest his hand on the knob, “If you go out, you have to spend the night. I have an early flight to South Korea.”
“Okay.” I nodded.
He closed the door without saying anything else.
I grabbed my backpack and put all of my school work in it. Then I grabbed my hoodie, car keys, and charger cord and went straight out the front door.
“So you really do just want to leave?” Dad stood in the doorway of the house.
I turned and looked at him, “I can’t do another fight with you, Dad. You told me I could leave, so I am.”
“I am not picking a fight.” He crossed his arms over his chest and maintained a serious expression. This man will never break. He will never show any other emotion than anger. And he will never try to care for his kids.
“Can I leave?”
“Do you want to?”
“Of course I do.”
“Why?”
I almost dropped my bags. I had to shut my mouth securely before my jaw fell off my face. “You have to be joking.”
“I’m not.”
“You hate me. You hate your kids and I will never understand why. Do you think it would be what she wanted? Do you think my mother, my sweet and amazing mother would want you to treat her kids with nothing but hatred?”
I glared at me, “I do not hate my kids, Natalie Rose.”
I scoffed, “You do.”
“I love you guys.” He furrowed his eyebrows.
“But you don’t like us.” I looked at him and waited for a response. And when I didn’t get one, I nodded, “Exactly. Have fun in south Korea.” I threw my bags in the back of my Volkswagen and left faster than I ever had.
What an emotionally draining day.
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