The Secret Of Us (Wlw) Late night talking

It was 3 am in the morning and Evie and Taylor were still awake, their bodies entangled in Taylor’s kingsize bed. They both knew fully well that it was not a good idea to be awake at this time considering the fact that they had a show day ahead of them. Especially Taylor, who had to be fit to perform over 3 hours non-stop. But that didn’t seem important in that moment, just like anything outside of these four walls. “I don’t wanna look at anything else now that I saw you.”, Taylor said into the darkness and turned to face Evie. That was the cutest thing someone had said to her in a really long time and she couldn’t do anything else but give Taylor a soft kiss on her cheeks. They both smiled at each other and their contentment was written on their faces. 

“How did you realize you were not only into guys?”, Taylor asked all of the sudden and caught Evie off guard. This was some time ago and she had to go down the memory lane to get to the moment of realization. “Well I think it was when I watched “Friends”. I love that show and Rachel was always my favorite characters, I was actually a bit obsessed. But for the longest time I thought that I only wanted to be like her, like look like her you know?”, Evie started and could feel the emotions again that she had felt several years ago when she had felt lost and alone in her sexuality. “But then I noticed how I was always didn’t care about the episodes in which she kissed other guys or flirted with them. I kind of realized that I was actually attracted to her, or Jennifer Anniston to be exact. And when I finally understood the difference between “I want to be her” and “She is damn hot”, I started to notice that there were other women I found attractive…yeah that was kind of it.”. Taylor had listened to her attentively but Evie was a bit scared that she’d bored her with her unspectacular story of her bi-awakening. “And did you consider dating a women after that?”, Taylor further asked. She seemed really interested in this topic. “No, I never fell in love with anyone in my close environment. Looking back on it, it might have been like that because I was scared and only let myself be emotionally available for guys but I don’t know for sure. I even questioned my sexuality not so long ago because I knew that I had only one meaningless make-out session with a girl and had only dated men before which never worked out for me but still…”, Evie stopped and had to think back to the time after her break-up from her boyfriend when she had talked with her friend Bonnie about a female friend who had gotten engaged with another women. Evie had thought about trying it out with women when the time was ripe but she had been unsure if she was actually able to like women romantically in real life and not through her phone or laptop screen. “Well now I finally got the last approval that I am indeed bisexual.”, she ended her sentence and left out a little laughter. There was no denial that she was attracted to Taylor and it would have been a torture for her to not be able to touch her like friends would never touch each other. 

 “Thank you for telling me.”, Taylor started and gently brushed her fingers over Evie’s arm while she was laying in Taylor’s. “I am just thinking a lot about my sexuality these days. I know how I am feeling when I am around you and it is something I’ve never felt around any woman before. That’s why it took me so long to actually realize that my feelings for you were not normal for a platonic friendship. Maybe I was also in denial…It’s all new to me. It reminds me of the times I had my first sexual interactions with guys. But this time it’s all more intense and I am older but I still feel like a teenage girl in some way…”, Taylor chuckled and suddenly seemed a bit nervous. Evie moved a little closer to her, to let her know that she was there to talk about anything. “I think sometimes it’s best if we don’t desperately try to put ourselves into the boxes society has created and only do what feels right in the moment. And if that means dating a guy; do that. But if that means drunk-kissing your friend who you secretly have a crush on; do that.”, Evie said to Taylor but also a bit to herself. She had spent endless nights wondering what she liked and didn’t like but in the end she only had to run into Taylor to find out that she only needed to find a very good person and to fall for their character first to be attracted to them. No need to stress and think about their gender first. 

“You’re a wise girl Evie Jones. If I didn’t know it better I would suggest you to write either books or songs.”, Taylor joked and smiled at Evie with that warm expression on her face that made Evie melt away. “I am actually writing a lot of songs at the moment.”, Evie told Taylor and knew well that she had just let Taylor know that she wrote songs about her. Who else would she write about at the moment? “Oh exciting. I’ve started working on my new album before the show and I am very productive as well”. Taylor winked at Evie. Evie wanted nothing more but to see the songs Taylor wrote at that moment. But at the same time, she never wanted Taylor to see hers, especially not the few song ideas she had written before she had found out that Taylor was not as straight as everyone thought she was. “I am actually going to record some stuff tomorrow, well today,  to see how my ideas sound in the studio. I am going to meet up with William, he’s a songwriter and a – um sort of friend of mine.”, Taylor continued saying and had to suddenly yawn. “I think we should sleep now, otherwise you won’t be able to record anything or perform in the evening.”, Evie suggested who was also really tired. As much as she wanted to talk to Taylor all night, they needed to be responsible. “Sound’s reasonable. I hope we can find another day to do this again.”. “I hope so too.”. They shared another short but tender kiss and wished each other a good night. They both immediately fell asleep, their bodies intertwined; Taylor the big and Evie the little spoon.