Sunday was 15 kilometers tactical foot march.
That got me tired because I was not getting younger. I chose to put It together with Military operation with urban terrain (MOUT- fighting in a city).
We camped in an empty building for the night. I taught them Guard ethics and standards with continued studies of Army Values during the night then they went to sleep.
They had slept in the field before so they were used to it by now.
I didn’t want to sleep. I went to the rooftop of the old abandoned building then sat there smoking a cigarette. Halfway through my relaxing moment, I heard footsteps.
“May I seat?” Aidan asked. I knew her voice.
“Sure”
She sat on the edge too. We were pretty far up that if these brats truly hated me after that long ass march, they had every reason to push me off the building.
“Can I have a cigarette?” Her soft polite tone could have worked but I felt protective over her.
“No, smoking kills” I stabbed the cigarette then dropped it.
She huffed.
“I only smoke once in a while. It takes more than that to kill me” Aidan tried to convince.
“No means no” I growled looking in her direction.
This tough ass young woman frowned sadly. I kept looking at her and we just stared at each other.
“Please?”
With the way she said it. I couldn’t tell if she was begging for a cigarette or something else. Not to mention our faces were closer. I pulled back looking away.
This couldn’t be happening.
“Stay healthy kid”
“I’m not a kid” She snapped saying the words like they burned her mouth.
“You are 19 years old”
“Turning 20 in 5 days” Aidan defended herself.
“Still young” I stared back in her direction.
“I’m old enough” She stared back intensely in my eyes.
“Old enough for what?”
She seemed determined about this age thing.
“Nothing”
Aidan stared down at her fingers. Her knuckles were pretty fucked from the earlier fight. I fought the edge to do something about it.
The silence got too heavy.
“You must think I’m fucked up after what happened with Jaimie.”
“Which part?” I didn’t look at her.
“All of it.”
“It’s none of my business. I’m here to train you”
“Maybe I just care about your opinion” I stared down at her knuckles gripping the bricks.
“You are going to make an amazing soldier”
“That’s a professional opinion. You heard all my personal business. What does that say about me?” She pushed.
She really wanted to know what I thought about it. This conversation was strange. Our tension was so thick you could cut with an axe.
“I have nothing to say” I stood up and dusted myself.
“Then I have so much to worry about”
“Get some sleep” I advised.
She pulled herself up to get up but she slipped and on instinct I grabbed her hand. She looked up to me and there was no fear in her eyes. It was like she knew I would pull her up.
Did she trust me?.
I helped her up to stand back on top and we were chest to chest. She was slightly shorter than me maybe by two inches. The eye contact came so natural, I was getting sucked in under the moonlight.
Aidan stepped closer in a way our bodies were slightly apart. Everything in my body wanted to close the gap. Kiss her pretty lips and feel her against me but the sensible part knew better.
I couldn’t let myself lose control. It took everything in me to hold back because this girl, I wanted her so badly.
My brain, even a little fuzzy with all the tension still helped me overcome temptation and I stepped to the side walking back inside.
I had never been someone into wrong attractions. I had fucked women in the military and even out in the world but relationships were not my thing.
But I knew.
Somehow I knew if I touched Aidan, it would change everything. I could tell by the way I couldn’t control my thoughts about her. The way I wanted her. The way I felt about everything she did.
Aidan was right.
I had a lot to say.
But this could not happen. Despite the fact that we were in different ranks. I was her instructor, the fact that it was not allowed.
I also couldn’t afford to feel so much about someone. My biggest fear was losing someone after I had fallen for them. I had never been in love but I knew what heartbreak did to people.
Falling for someone who was clearly going in the field putting her life on the line everyday, I didn’t want that.
The wise decision was to bury these feelings and watch her leave for AIT. (Advanced Individual Training).
It was clear she felt something for me. The way she looked at me everytime. The nervousness. How she stared at me for longer periods of time. How open and vulnerable she was with me.
It all made sense.
The next day I set them in teams. Gave them maps back to the camp and had them wear training suits. They wore training vases.
“There are 4 explosive devices 8 kilometers mid west alongside the bridge that leads to the camp. You are in 4 teams. Your mission is to find the explosives in time as a team. Turn them off and return to base before fifteen hundred. Good luck soldiers. You will need it”
They were all standing in a straight line.
“The goal is to work together. I have eyes everywhere, I will know. All Privates dismissed!!”
“Yes! Sergeant Chase!” They saluted then marched off.
I watched Aidan’s figure retreat. She turned around and we made eye contact. Then she marched off.
Out of the 30 girls I was training, in same uniform. I still managed to notice her. She had my attention even when I didn’t want to give her the time of my day.
Aidan was fucking me up and she didn’t even know it.
☆☆☆
I know some of you will say that’s not what happens in the military
Truth is I have never been in the military so I obviously don’t know
I would appreciate if you corrected me
Tell me what you think
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