✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Yujin, you gotta treat a car like you treat a person.
Hao, Hanbin’s partner: *glaring intently* Go on…
Hanbin: No, I sense I’ve made a mistake of some kind.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: What’s worse than a heartbreak?
Matthew: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn’t charging.
Jiwoong: Waking up in the morning.
Taerae: Waking up.
Yujin: Waking up in the morning…
Yujin: And seeing Ricky.
Ricky: Hey! Rude!!
✿————✦————✿
Matthew: You’re the sweetest candything in all of the universe. Sprinkles of sugar on my tasters.
Hanbin: Matthew, are you drunk?
Matthew: Would you arrest me if I was?
Hanbin: No.
Matthew: You’re so polite.
Hanbin: Well, thank you. So, how much have you had to drink?
Matthew: A baby and a half dozen of babies.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: We’ve found the person who stole your identity and was impersonating you.
Taerae: Where were they?
Ricky: Eating cheetos and crying in their car.
Taerae, impressed: Damn, they really went for it.
✿————✦————✿
*in the ZB1 groupchat*
Gyuvin: iuegrukfhoeuhfeoruhf
Jiwoong: what is that?
Gyuvin: it’s a keyboard smash
Jiwoong: How do I do it?
Gyuvin: just press anything
Jiwoong: 7
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: *Texts Ricky asking about what kind of teddy grahams they want.*
Ricky: Honey.
Gunwook: Yea wassup.
Gunwook: Just realized u was saying the flavor you wanted. Not addressing me endearingly.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: *sneaking in through their window*
Hao: *turning in their chair and flicking the light one* You want to tell me where you’ve been all night?
Gyuvin: I was with Ricky?
Ricky: *turning in their chair* Wanna try again?
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.
✿————✦————✿
Hao and Hanbin: 3… 2… 1… Happy new year! *Starts kissing*
Jiwoong: Guys, it’s not even midnight yet, can you stop making out every time the microwave goes off?
✿————✦————✿
Matthew: Dude, I will never forgive Craigslist for banning me after I wrote a post seeking a sworn nemesis. Whoever reported that is obviously my nemesis but I was so pissed.
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