✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: What happened to Ricky?
Yujin: They died.
Hanbin: They what?
Yujin: They died, but they’re okay.
Hanbin: …Can you please clarify?
Ricky: Clarification is for the weak.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: I don’t need to touch grass, I need the fall of capitalism.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: Hey Taerae, do you have any hobbies?
Taerae: Swimming..
Ricky: Really? That’s cool. I never expected you to-
Taerae: In a pool of self hatred and regret.
✿————✦————✿
Hao: I’m allergic to death.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: So, what is Gyuvin to you?
Hanbin: The reason I wake up every morning.
Ricky: …That’s adorable.
Gyuvin earlier that morning, barging into Hanbin′s room, smacking pans together: WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP!!!
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: Well, needless to say. Uh-oh Spaghetti-os.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: Shouldn’t get stressed out, it’s not good for the baby.
Hao: What baby?
Gunwook, crying a bit: Me.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Are you reading fan fiction?
Jiwoong, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No.
Hanbin: Oh, is it on AO3?
Jiwoong: This is CNN.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our apartment?
Gyuvin: They’re golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: If you water water, it grows.
Hao: …What.
Yujin: They’ve got a point.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: I type how I think.
Jiwoong: Odd that you type at all then.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you’re a coward.
Gyuvin: I’m worried about you.
✿————✦————✿
Matthew: Without you Hao, we’re just 8 idiots that live together.
Gyuvin: You make us a family Hao
Hao: Well, I’m like the cool rebel sibling of course.
Ricky: No, you’re the mum.
Matthew & Gyuvin: Yeah, definitely the mum.
Ricky: Look, Hao, if you come back to us, I’ll let you clean my room.
Hao: Deal
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: Oh look, we’re under the mistletoe
Ricky, looking up: Gyuvin, that is not mistletoe.
Ricky, waking up at 4am: Oh my god! He was flirting with me!
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: I printed up a bunch of fake safety inspection certificates. Go slap one on anything that looks like a lawsuit.
Ricky: Jiwoong, is that legal?
Jiwoong: When the cops aren’t around, anything’s legal!
✿————✦————✿
*The squad has just arrived in a new city. Gyuvin looks around at the wanted posters to see if they’re on any of them.*
Jiwoong: Gyuvin, are you a criminal?
Gyuvin: Not here, I’m not!
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: What must it be like to live in your head? Are there happy ponies in there? It’s really something how utterly delusional your optimism is. If I didn’t hate you so much, I might even be impressed.
Yujin: Huzzah! I got a heavily qualified and slightly sarcastic compliment from Gunwook!
✿————✦————✿
Matthew, singing: ~Hush, little laptop, don’t you cry.~
Matthew: ~Momma’s gonna find you some more Wi-Fi.~
Matthew: ~And if that Wi-Fi doesn’t work…~
Matthew: ~Momma will destroy the fucking Earth.~
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: *seductively takes off glasses*
Jiwoong: Wow…
Ricky: *blushes* Haha… what?
Jiwoong: You’re really fucking blurry.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: Hey, aren’t you Matthew?
Matthew: You a cop?
Gunwook: No.
Matthew: Then yes, I am.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: Hey, Jiwoong. These candies you gave me? They sucked.
Jiwoong: But you ate them all.
Yujin: I had to make sure they all sucked.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: You know how some people consider “may you have an interesting life” to be a curse?
Gunwook: Yes…?
Gyuvin: Fuck those people. Wanna have an adventure?
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: I am SO prepared for this exam.
Exam starts.
Gyuvin: I do not know what I am doing.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: I was once in a movie.
Yujin: For real?
Hanbin: Yeah, I was walking by and they were filming an action scene.
Yujin: Oh, so you were an extra?
Hanbin: No, I got hit by a car.
✿————✦————✿
Taerae: I’ll have you know that I have the reflexes of a cat!
Yujin drops something.
Taerae: doesn’t catch it
Yujin: A dead cat, maybe.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: If I punch myself and it hurts, am I weak or strong?
Ricky: You’re an idiot.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: Hey guys! I drew everyone’s soul!
Taerae: Why is Gyuvin’s a monster?
Gyuvin: Yujin, you forgot Taerae’s! Its only an empty space!
Yujin, proudly: Exactly.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: Gyuvin and I are so close we even share a toothbrush.
Gyuvin: We what?
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: So what’s the plan?
Jiwoong: You’re the leader.
Hanbin: So what’s the plan?
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: stubs toe
Gyuvin: tries not to swear
Gyuvin: angrily whispering Barnacles.
✿————✦————✿
Hao: pulling something out of the oven
Matthew: You baked?
Hao: I don’t know what I did.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: What if I don’t get any Valentine’s cards?
Ricky: I can make one for you?
Yujin: That’s sadder than getting none!
✿————✦————✿
Matthew: Don’t worry, I got this.
Hao: Last time you said that, you set the kitchen on fire.
Matthew: Mistakes were made.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: holding a watermelon I’m going to name him Wally.
Yujin: That’s a dumb name.
Gyuvin: You’re a dumb name.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: You lied to me!
Ricky: You didn’t ask if I was telling the truth, you just assumed I was being honest. That’s on you.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: Sometimes I feel like I’m an idiot.
Jiwoong: You’re not an idiot. You’re just… in development.
✿————✦————✿
Hao: I’d like to file a complaint.
Ricky: What’s the problem?
Hao: This day. I don’t like it. I want a new one.
✿————✦————✿
Taerae: I’m not saying I hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water, I’d drink it.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: I’m going to do a backflip.
Matthew: Please don’t.
Gunwook: attempts backflip
Gunwook: fails spectacularly
Matthew: Why don’t you ever listen to me?
✿————✦————✿
Hao: Can you guys be serious for five minutes?
Gyuvin: holding a rubber chicken No promises.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: Do we have a backup plan?
Matthew: There’s a plan?
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: You ever just feel like throwing a dictionary at someone’s face?
Gunwook: No, but I feel like you have.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: talking to a plant You’re such a good little plant, aren’t you?
Hao: This is why you’re single.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Why is there a lizard in the living room?
Ricky: He’s part of the family now.
Hanbin: We are NOT adopting a lizard!
Ricky: His name is Steve.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: I’ve got a plan.
Matthew: Does it involve fire?
Gyuvin: Not intentionally, but you never know.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: I think my life is falling apart.
Hao: What makes you say that?
Gunwook: holding a bag of popcorn and crying I microwaved this bag for 10 minutes, and now it’s on fire.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: I’m going to eat this whole pizza by myself!
Yujin: Is this a cry for help?
Ricky: No, it’s a cry for pizza.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: I could totally fight a bear.
Gunwook: You couldn’t even fight me!
Gyuvin: You’re not a bear.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: so I currently have 7 new notebooks and I am taking suggestions for what to put in them
Gyuvin: put spaghetti in them
Ricky: I am taking suggestions from anyone but Gyuvin for what to put in them
Gunwook: put spaghetti in them
Ricky: I am taking suggestions from anyone but Gyuvin and Gunwook
Yujin: put spaghetti in them
Ricky: I am no longer taking suggestions
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Would you punch Ricky for a million dollars?
Gyuvin: Yeah, but I’d give him half.
Yujin: No one asked, but I’d roundhouse kick Matthew for 5¢ and a bag of chips.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: Oh it’s, um, very muggy outside
Hao: I’d better not go outside and see all our dorm mugs on the ground
Yujin: *Nervously sips juice from a saucepan*
✿————✦————✿
*First time meeting*
Gunwook: At jellyfish all of our snacks are organic.
Taerae: That’s nice. The Wakeone trainees eat candy off the floor.
✿————✦————✿
Stranger: You guys look very happy together.
Ricky: Oh, no, we’re not together. We’re not a couple. We’re definitely not a couple.
Gyuvin: Wow, you seem pretty insulted by that. What, I’m not good enough for you?
Ricky: We’re not having this conversation again.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: If you wanna see the dynamic of any duo, there’s a simple way to do so.
Yujin: THE FLOOR IS LAVA!
Haobin: *Helping each other up on the counter*
Shimkongz: *Actively trying to kick each other off the sofa*
Jiwoong, Gunwook: *Fighting, trying to help Matthew*
Matthew: *Already standing on a chair with Taerae*
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin, looking at Yujin: One taught me love.
Hanbin, looking at Ricky: One taught me patience.
Hanbin, looking at Gyuvin being egged on by Matthew into eating a Tide Pod: One taught me kids are fuckiNG STUPID GYUVIN PUT THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR SO HELP ME GOD-
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: I love cheating. If you don’t cheat, what’s wrong with you?
Gunwook: I forgot some people are in relationships. To clarify, I love to violate sportsman’s integrity in games.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: *Screams.*
Gyuvin: *Screams louder to assert dominance.*
Matthew: Should we… stop them?
Taerae: No, I want to see who wins.
✿————✦————✿
*Sirens going off in the distance*
Gunwook, who has never done anything wrong in his life: They’ve found me.
✿————✦————✿
Hao: This is my friend, Ricky. I don’t think he’s okay but at this point I’m going with it.Â
Ricky, holding a porcupine: Hyung, look, I found a spiky cat 😀
Hao, calling the police: You’re doing amazing sweetie.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin, leading the others through the supermarket: Okay, the second mission is finding where the popcorn is.
Matthew: Wait, what was the first mission?
Hanbin: Fucking getting here, Matthew.
✿————✦————✿
Taeare, hungover: Please tell me I’m imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks.
Gunwook: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: I’m not a baby!
Hanbin: Then take your vitamins
Yujin: But they’re not the gummy version!
Hanbin, sweating, turning to Taerae: I thought I told you to buy him the gummy ones.
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: I am not an early bird or a night owl. I am some form of permanently exhausted pigeon.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: Come on, don’t be ridiculous. No one here thinks that Gyuvin and I are a couple.
Jiwoong: Hey guys, raise your hand if you think Ricky and Gyuvin are a couple?
Everyone: *Raises their hand.*
Ricky:
Ricky: GYUVIN PUT YOUR HAND DOWN!
✿————✦————✿
Hao: I would do anything for the members of this team.
Hao: Except running, jogging or climbing stairs.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: I actually have a black belt.
Hao: In what, karate?
Ricky: No, from Gucci.
✿————✦————✿
Matthew: You’re blocking the view.
Taerae: BITCH I AM THE VIEW!
✿————✦————✿
Hao: *fully immersed in his work, studying for his upcoming exams*
Yujin, upside down on the couch: Do you think ducks have feelings?
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?
Ricky: How am I supposed to know?
Gunwook: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge of the occult.
Ricky: *Sighs*
Ricky: You wouldn’t be trapped.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: Hey guys, just a friendly reminder.
Gyuvin: Just because the bathbomb smells like strawberries, doesn’t mean it tastes like strawberries.
Ricky:
Ricky: Did you EAT one of my bathbombs?
✿————✦————✿
Literally anyone: So, Ricky-
Gyuvin, vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass: Yeah, I like him a normal amount.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: What the fuck are you doing.
Gunwook, down on one knee with a ring in front of a fan he just met: Fanservice.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Hao has these really strong opinions about really mundane things. Go on, ask him about something no one should have an opinion on!
Taerae: What’s the worst multiple of 4?
Hao: 12, obviously.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: This is my impression of a duck
Yujin: Quack!
ZB1:
ZB1: We would die for you
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: I just discovered a cool trick! If you make brownies but don’t cut them, you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate one brownie!
Jiwoong: No.
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: How do you sleep at night?
Gyuvin: I don’t.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: dramatically Everything is falling apart.
Ricky: You dropped a pencil.
✿————✦————✿
Gunwook: Why are you always running away from your problems?
Hanbin: Because it works!
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: Why is there a traffic cone in our kitchen?
Taerae: I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Jiwoong: points to the cone This.
Taerae: Oh, that’s Fernando. He lives here now.
✿————✦————✿
Taerae: Why is there a banana taped to the wall?
Gunwook: It’s art.
✿————✦————✿
✿————✦————✿
A/N:
I wanted to thank everyone that has read this book. As much as it’s just a silly little collection of incorrect quotes everyone’s support means the world to me. I specifically want to thank jsandzk82, l0velylicky, lightforthepath, MahimaAS3, EW_crw NorRayAndShikaJin , MokSeungJin , mezae_6363 , who have voted on nearly every chapter in this book. Thank you guys so much, as well as everyone else who has read this book.
I currently am working on a ZB1 chatfic, which will hopefully be published in less than a week. If you wanna share your ideas on plot, usernames, ships etc 🙂
Once again thank you so much everyone 🙂
~ Nureow
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