✿————✦————✿
Yujin: How do you tell someone their breath stinks?
Taerae: Hey, I’m bored, let’s drink mouthwash.
✿————✦————✿
Ricky: I reserve the right to judge a movie based on when it was made, thank you very much.
Hanbin: You consider anything made before 2000 old and bad.
Ricky: And I reserve that right! After all….
Ricky: I bet you wouldn’t like the average movie made in 1879!
Hanbin: There were no movies made in 1879.
Ricky: *slams table* WRONG! There was ONE movie made in 1879! The first movie! A zoopraxioscope of a horse galloping!
Yujin: Oooh! Let’s go ask Jiwoong if they saw it in theatres!
✿————✦————✿
Hao: What do you do for a living?
Jiwoong: I exist against my will.
✿————✦————✿
Hao: She was poetry, but he couldn’t read.
Mathew: His name was Jared he’s 19.
Gunwook: When his parents built a very strange machine.
Ricky, singing: Watch that scene, digging the dancing queen.
Gyuvin, singing: Eyyyy, Macarena!
Hanbin: Horrible job everyone.
✿————✦————✿
Mathew: What are y’all’s favorite things to wake up to?
Hanbin: Breakfast in bed!
Hao: Emails from AO3!
Taerae: My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.
Taerae: The screams of my enemies are a close second though.
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: So are you gonna explain how the hell you crashed my car?
Hao: Well we were driving and there was a deer in the road, so I said “Hanbin, deer!”
Jiwoong: …And what did Hanbin do?
Hao: …They said “Yes, Honey?”
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: I have no respect for Santa. Don’t sneak in through the chimney and undermine my authority by bringing my family presents. Walk in through the front door and fight me like a man.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: Hey there demons, It’s me, ya boi.
Hanbin: Gyuvin, NO!
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Ricky, you’re testifying in an aggravated assault case tomorrow, and the D.A. is worried about how you’ll present yourself on the stand.
Ricky: Why? I’m fine on the stand!
*flashback to Testimony #1*
Ricky: Look, I’ll make this real simple so even these dumdums can understand.
Ricky, to the jury: MAN DID CRIME.
*flashback to Testimony #2*
Ricky: I’m sorry, could you make her stop doing that weird thing with her face?
Defense Attorney, next to the crying defendant: …Crying?
*flashback to Testimony #3*
Ricky: And when this is over, I’m gonna find you and I’m gonna break those little fingers.
Judge: Could the witness please stop threatening the stenographer?
✿————✦————✿
*Zerobaseone is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Gyuvin: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?
Jiwoong: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.
Gunwook: What about Mathew? Nobody ever suspects Mathew!
Mathew: Well what about Hanbin? They have a gun!
Hanbin: Ricky has a knife.
Ricky: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Gyuvin in the arm*
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