✿————✦————✿
Hanbin: Did you bring Hao?
Gunwook, gesturing to Taerae: No, but I brought the next best thing.
Hanbin:Â Taerae? The next best thing would be Mathew.
Taerae: I would be offended, but Mathew is freakishly strong.
✿————✦————✿
*In a group chat*
Mathew: A pegan just flew into my window.
Gyuvin: Pegan?
Yujin: A what?
Hanbin: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.
Ricky: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!
Hanbin: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.
Ricky: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can’t relate, I have penguins flying into my window.
Mathew: I literally just made a typo-
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: Reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!
✿————✦————✿
Hanbin, gently nudging Mathew aside with their foot: Mathew, move out of the way so I don’t trip on you.
Mathew, their eyes enormous: You kick Mathew? You kick their body like the football? Oh! Oh! Jail for Hanbin! Jail for Hanbin for one thousand years!
✿————✦————✿
Taerae, trying to comfort Gyuvin: What’s the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I’ve been there.
✿————✦————✿
Yujin: Dumbest scar stories, go!
Ricky: I burned my tongue once drinking tea.
Gyuvin: I dropped a hair dryer on my leg once and it burned.
Hanbin: I have a piece of graphite in my leg for accidentally stabbing myself with a pencil in the first grade.
Mathew: I was taking a cup of noodles out of the microwave and spilled it in my hand and I got a really bad burn.
Hao: I have emotional scars.
✿————✦————✿
Jiwoong: If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you’re impressed.
Gyuvin: But you do know better.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: Well, remember when Ricky made a romantic dinner for me?
Hao: Gyuvin, they microwaved you a pizza.
✿————✦————✿
Gyuvin: Hey, babe, remember how I had to go to the pharmacy to pick up my ADHD meds?
Ricky: Yes?
Gyuvin: Well, it turns out they’re all out for the next five days.
Ricky: Fuck.
Gyuvin: It’s gonna be a fun week!
Ricky: I’m going to Hao’s house.
Gyuvin: Nuh-uh. Through sickness and health, motherfucker.
✿————✦————✿
Mathew: DID YOU REALLY THINK THAT JOKE WAS FUNNY? IT WASNT. NOBODY IS LAUGHING.
Mathew: *pulls up a graph* THIS IS WHEN YOU TOLD YOUR JOKE, YOU HAVE SONGLE HANDEDLY RUINED COMEDY! IVE ALSO ASKED MANY COMEDY SCHOLARS ON THEIR OPINION OF YOUR JOKE AND THIS IS WHAT THEY HAD TO SAY!
Gunwook: I’ve been researching comedy for the past 20 years, and I have genuinely never seen a joke this bad. We have used quantum physics to look into alternate universes to see every joke made, and yours was still by far the worst.
Mathew: CONGRATULATIONS! YOUVE SINGLE HANDEDLY CREATED THE WORST JOKE IN HUMAN HISTORY! HERES A MEDAL! *pulls up a horrible ms paint drawn star that says “you need help*
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